this is where i feel most at home in my new hometown.
and so then there’s this person. this one person who has been constantly there for you since you were 16. only in the foreground on occasion. but each time, the best time in a long time is spent with them. tears and laughter and an indescribable understanding and ability to see through each other’s b.s. and each of you falls in love with someone and your lives go different directions. and then your life crumbles and they’re one of the only constants that you have. but there’s this line that you can’t cross. even though they see all of your stupid flaws and insecurities and their presence in your life has never wavered. and even though you’ve held each other in the past, trembling with happiness, hearts swelling. but all you ever did was hold one another. and you had to let go. and then out of nowhere they send you a song that makes you cry. but they’re crazy happy in love with someone and you would never do anything to tarnish that happiness they’ve found. and even though you believe in life unfolding as it does with design and purpose… the ever-haunting what if comes around and consumes you and leaves you feeling eternally thankful for and undeserving of their presence in your life, always thankful but wondering what would have happened if you’d both been brave enough to speak up. if timing had been right. realizing that the timing has passed. and it may never come around again. and all you can do is be thankful for them. and happy for them. watching from afar, as you always have. only occasionally in the foreground of their story.